Walk to Remember

Each year I take a day to remember my sweet children that left me way to soon. My friend Amy always comes with. She too has lost two children. Both of hers were miscarriages.

 

This was Brody's first year attending the walk. He was so good and just took it all in.

Zachary decorated Aiden's balloon. He really concentrated and tried to make it really special.

Zachary walked with Amy down to were we released the balloons.

Amy with her balloons. She releases a balloon every year for one for her relatives child Gabe. Gabe died of SIDS.

 This is the second year that John has attended the walk with us.

Since I have a co-worker who just lost his son, I thought it would be appropriate to release a balloon for him too. Here is Hunter's balloon.

And Aiden's Balloon.

And Baby Husted's balloon.

After they announced the names, we let them go. Off, off, off they went.

What a beautiful day!

 

I love you my sweet children. Until we meet again!!!

Zachary Turns 3!

My little man isn't so little anymore. He is getting more and more sassy by the day. He is totally attitude one minute and the next minute hugging you and giving you kisses. I love this boy to pieces!

We did our normally photo shoot at the house. Here are some of the pictures I got this time...

His "monkey" hat. My mom bought him this and he just loves wearing it. I couldn't resist getting a few with it on.

I don't allow too many pictures to be taken of me, but something that I don't have very many of is pictures of me being pregnant with Aiden...and I definitely don't have any like this with Zachary and I. I decided while we were taking pictures to take a few of the two of us.

His favorite Puppy! He carries this thing everywhere!!!

• He is wearing 3T clothes.
• Size 11 shoes (this kid has some big feet)!
• Knows his colors
• Can count up to 15ish (once he gets up to the teens sometimes he goes all over the place)
• Loves to ride his bike, including in the house
• Loves being outside
• Is potty trained, except at night, we are still working on that
• knows quite a few shapes
• Loves playing with his friends

The weekend before his birthday we had a small birthday party for him. He is WAY spoiled and got so much stuff. His birthday party was "Mickey Mouse" themed, but Costco has a limited selection of decorations to pick from, so Zachary picked a dinosaur for his cake.

We made cupcakes for him to bring to daycare the day before his birthday. He helped decorate them.

We even got outside to try out his new scooter.

On his birthday, both John and I took the day off to spend it with Zachary. We decided to go to the children's museum. He invited his friend Noah to come with. They had a blast. Then after that we went out for lunch. He picked Wendy's.

Between Zachary's birthday party and birthday fell Aiden's first birthday in Heaven. It was a tough day. Since we had so much cake and cupcakes in a very short time, I didn't order a birthday cake for Aiden...although I thought really hard about it. I did make sure to eat some cake for him. On his birthday after church we all headed up to the hospital to donate our items that we had been collecting. Even thought I wish that no one else would have to go what we went thru, I do know that it does happen. I wanted to honor Aiden and give back. We were given so many nice things when we were in the hospital and I wanted to make sure that someone else got something similar. Without donated items, the hospital would not be able to give you the things that they do.

These are the things that we gave...

There were 12 blankets (the same size we were given) - 6 for boys and 6 for girls. 12 hats (the same size as Aiden wore) 4 were blue, 4 were white and 4 were pink. Then we also gave little boxes for the parents to put their special belongings in. My plan is to make this a yearly donation in honor of Aiden on his birthday.

Even though a year has gone by, the pain is still there. It still hurts that he is gone. But we try to make the best of it and to look at things thru a positive light.

We are anxiously awaiting the arrival of our 4th child (1 miscarriage, Zachary, Aiden and baby #4). God has blessed us with this pregnancy and I am leaning on him to help get us thru. Zachary is so excited to meet his baby brother and so are we!

A little catch up...

It has been a while since I've been on here. I suppose I have some catching up to do...

My Nephew and his wife came home for Christmas. My nephew is in the Army and is currently located in Florida. So it was nice to get to see him. We took a family picture while he was home. I didn't think it turned out too bad since I just set up my make-shift studio and had to try to fit that many people in with what I had. It wasn't easy! Good thing everyone showered that day :)

The weekend of Christmas we decided we better make some cookies for Santa. Zachary wanted to help as he wants to do with everything. 

Here he is with his finished product. Cookies and milk for Santa.

  

Christmas Eve morning we let Zachary open some presents from us. He enjoyed opening them all.

 That morning, while there was still snow outside, we went out and played with his new sled. We also released a balloon for his brother Aiden. We wanted to make sure he got it in time for Christmas. It is hard knowing that one of my children isn't with us for Christmas. A dear friend of mine was so kind and sent us a little poem about our son's first Christmas in Heaven. It brought tears to my eyes. She also sent a sweet little "A" to add to our Christmas tree. Although Aiden won't be physically with us from year to year, he will always be present throughout the house.

On Christmas morning Zachary woke up to a stocking that Santa had left him. Wow....that stocking is almost as big as him!

 And then shortly after, we discovered that Santa had left one last present.....a trampoline. He loves it!

Thanks Santa!

 Later on Christmas Day we went over to John's parent's for Christmas....and of course we had to take our yearly Christmas photo.

Zachary got way too many things. He is one spoiled kid!

Here he is with his wall track. Word of advice to all other parents thinking of buying there child this gift. DON'T attach it to a wall! The 3M things that attach it to the wall later pulled off part of our drywall. Three of them came off great, the other three not so great. We will be attaching it to a window if it goes back up! Now we get to patch and paint! Merry Christmas to us!

Shortly after Christmas, we decided to take a trip up to Great Wolf. It was a fun trip, but we missed our friends that were supposed to go with us. Maybe next year!

Besides Christmas we have been gearing up for the arrival of our newest addition. I've been cleaning clothes and sorting thru things of Zachary's. I am 29 weeks today and it feels good to be this far, but I know I have a longs ways to go yet. I haven't been as worried about this pregnancy as I thought that I was going to be, but at the same time I worry all the time about the what ifs. I know that I have to trust in God and his plan, but it is truly hard some days. I spend many of times poking at my stomach to make sure he is still ok in there. If I'm home and he isn't moving as much as I would like him too, I'm pulling out my doppler and checking to see what his heart rate is at. I am on constant alert for him at all times. For those of you who have never lost a child, you probably wouldn't understand the worry that goes on and that is ok. But unless you have lost a child....please don't judge me.

This month we have 3 birthdays in our family. It first starts out with Aiden's birthday. It will have been one year ago that we said Hello and Good-bye. It will be a tough day! Then Zachary is turning 3. How can time have gone that quickly. That child is growing up way too fast! Then its John's turn. I won't announce how old he will be.......let's just say he will be turning 30 AGAIN. :) Maybe that will make him feel better.

On Aiden's birthday we plan to try to do something special. Something to remember him by. I've been working on getting some stuff ready to donate to the hospital. When I was there I got a ton of donated items and I want to give back in honor of my son. So, every year I plan to donate items to the hospital in honor of my son...for his birthday. It is hard to know that I'm donating because someone else will be going thru the same thing that I did.

Please say some prayers for us the remainder of this pregnancy. Also pray for us as we go thru a very difficult day coming up.